Well, I managed to block out several out and D5 is almost complete. It still took me about an hour to really get going after I posted about hanging out with bushes, but once I settled into the project I contently stayed there for hours and made some good progress. Understanding that this is how I function, I just need to be more disciplined about diving in.
This especially applies to when I am starting on a final drawing. If it's just a test-run, a practice design or a draft, I still stall at getting started, but that fumbling around stage is much shorter it seems. With my drafts I can cruise and create. My lines are loose and fluid - they have a good feeling about them. But once it comes to the final production - I pause and become a bit paralyzed. When I think it matters, I freeze. It's all in my head.
I never did beat my PR on the javelin in competition. I was always did that practice, which never benefited the team.
I think (part of) the solution to this performance-paralysis is daily designing and drawing so that my hand-confidence increases. I just picked up The Agony and the Ecstasy, having been inspired in Rome by Michelangelo's work. Page 26 starts out as such:
There was no formal method of teaching at Ghirlandaio's studio. Its basic philosophy was expressed in a plaque which Ghirlandaio had nailed to the wall alongside his desk:
The most perfect guide is nature. Continue without fail to draw something everyday.
I will talk about the nature bit next blog post - but I really do think the difference is in the daily ritual of drawing, designing - putting pencil to paper and letting my hand move through my thoughts. Therefore becoming more comfortable with myself as a designer. But this isn't new, the notion of daily commitment for honest improvement applies to every area in life, doesn't it?
Stick to a task, 'til it sticks to you.
By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.
You will never change your life until you change something that you do daily.